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You can’t proceed to the next awkward stage of eharmony until the other person responds back.

So you send over your questions for stage 1 of 4 and then you have to wait for them to respond. But it’s fine, you don’t really care that this person hasn’t responded in a day or two because each day you get a new batch of matches hand picked by these computer gods as people that match you on 29 levels of compatibility.

At least that’s what I tell myself, so I can sleep at night.

Another thing I don’t like about eharmony is all the fucking ads. Not only are they’re charging me about 30 bucks a month, they also bombard me with ads!?

Where basically it’s a small win chance per girl, but cumulative the win chance becomes greater with each girl added to the pool. You know your chances of winning are slim to none, but that doesn’t mean you throw away the lottery ticket.

That’s always kind of awkward when you’re supposed to be “working”. You’re going to continue reading without telling any of your hot female co-workers? I had some other titles in work for this blog, but they just didn’t capture the essence of what I was trying to say. A “computer” matches you up based on “29 levels of compatibility”, which I’m fine with. Because you’re thinking, wow some super computer down at Eharmony headquarters is crunching vectors and differential equations just to find my perfect mate, and everyday you log in and see new matches, that you think are hand picked from the computer gods above.

I mean, I feel bad if you’re at work right now reading this, and the biggest letters on your screen involve the words FUCK YOU. So after you completed their riddles and questions, you then can start receiving “matches”, hurray!

My distance is set to the smallest at 30 miles away. I’m not going to end up in one of their commercials. Pass this along to anyone that’s thinking about doing eharmony.com, it’s your American duty. I called and spoke to a guy, and all he could say was “all I can do is refer you to the email”, he literally said that like 7 times.

My math might be wrong, but I’m pretty sure LA is farther than 30 miles from San Diego. I guess I have to find another way to waste money on girls that aren’t making out with me per month. That’s all he could say, and read off his script, when I asked him, but WHY was my account canceled.

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